I am not who you think I am – as I got rudely reminded today, most people think hetero white married with children women stand for nothing. The argument today — I couldn’t possibly *really* want to help anyone else because I’m so “privileged.” That I can’t stand for anything, I can’t be for a minority stand point, I can’t possibly have any idea what anything is about so I’m just hurting rather than helping — because I’m privileged.
I am so fucking tired of defending my right to NOT be racist, to NOT be conservative, to NOT be a teaparty asshat. The farther I get into the atheist movement, the more I get abused because I “can’t understand.” You know, I have just one thing to say to that, WTF ever. I’ve been having these same arguments with racists and bible thumpers and just plain assholes for more years than some of you have even been alive. You push my buttons, I respond, then, you know what, I’m done because I can’t imagine a damn thing to say that will pry you out of your little stereotype machine that labels me “insincere hetero white southern woman.”
You don’t know me but I sure as hell know you. I ignore your fundie bible thumping posts on facebook, I listened to your racist rants at the last family dinner, I roll my eyes at you when I hear you telling someone how “they just aren’t like us.” Yeah, so what, you call yourself ‘liberal’, ‘gay’, ‘atheist’ but you know what, the shit you say is *just* like the racist bullshit I’ve had to live with for the last 40 years.
I’ll raise a glass and hope that when your wayback stereotype machine finally breaks, you don’t feel too horrible about the layer of shit you’ve spread over the secular world.
There’s a quote going around my Facebook feed right now that starts out “There comes a time in your life when you walk away from all the drama and the people who create it”. Sometimes that sentiment is something you need. Maybe your sister is creating massive drama because of her wedding or maybe your children have bad haircuts and your husband is freaking out. I can totally see walking away from those sorts of life wasting drama and refusing to participate. On the other hand, you have the important drama that plays out in the news every day. Right now it’s a storm of criticism of contraception — both the requirement for insurers to pay for it and, stunningly, the right to use it. I see that storm in my Facebook feed as my liberal women friends and family finding out in the worst way possible that the male friends and family they thought were as liberal as them, aren’t — in fact they are rabidly against birth control unless, of course, it’s them using it. These men see themselves as people who are all for women’s rights and agree that the right to wear a condom belongs to men but the right for women to take birth control is wrong.
Mostly, there is no logic involved in this storm of argument and I can see why women are taking this quote and quietly leaving the argument. The problem is that if we, those men’s friends and family, don’t demonstrate why it’s wrong for them to try to control our bodies, then they will never even have a second thought about it. We need to be more engaged in the fight, more engaged in opening up awareness that just leaving things alone is how the Tea Party racist misogynist conservatives got in power. Instead of leaving the drama alone, we should articulate and express why controlling another person’s choices is wrong.